If someone asked me to list traits about myself what would I say, I would probably say I am determined, that I am stubborn and strong willed and when I set my mind to something I know I can do it.
I was thinking the other day about my past and my life before God, there were times when I was so broke I was just about paying my bills, but if any of my friends said hey lets go on holiday, thats it I would be there.
I would make a plan to save and put so much away and before I knew it I had money for the holiday, spending money and enough for new holiday clothes, thats what determination and strong will can do for you.
I have always had this belief that if I wanted something I could have it, I have never deprived myself of anything, and If I say i'm going to do something then I just do it no discussions, I said I wanted to go back to university late in my life and I did, so imagine my surprise when I give my life to God and it didn't come as easy as everything else.
I am not sure what I expected, maybe a dramatic moment when I would fall to the ground shaking and when I came to I would suddenly be talking in tongues, or that someone would just walk up to me one day and hand me my salvation.
But God has shown me these last few weeks that If I want him I have to desire him more than anything else in my life and go after him with the same tanacity that I have everything else in my life, the only difference with God is not only do I have to put my mind to it, but my heart as well, God is a god of hearts and he has to know that the desires of my heart is to live a life pleasing to him.
Lately I have been really praying to God to increase my desire for him in my life, my favourite scripture for this is Psalms 63:1 O God, You are my God, earnestly will I seek you; my inner self thirsts for you, my flesh longs for you, in dry and weary lands where no water is.
God says that we should seek and inquire him, that we should require him as a vital necessity, like the air I breath, or my heart, if any were to be removed I couldn't live, and the more I come to know God the more I know I can't do anything without him, when we look back at our lives before God how can any of us think we don't need him?
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